Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Really God???

I never sleep. Okay, I rarely sleep. Sleep overcomes my body at horrid hours, like 3pm when the children unfurl themselves into the kitchen begging for food and needing help with homework.  I can barely hold my eyes open and begin making coffee or searching for chocolate.
Why can't I sleep? I attribute it to all those years of getting up with Emma somehow programmed my body to wake every two hours. I DON'T SLEEP.
I know this sounds horrible but there are benefits.
I wake. I pray.
Two nights ago I was overwhelmed with praising God.
I am so puny. So far from being "there" in my faith. But that night completely overwhelmed with prayer and PRAISE to God
BLESSING us with another CHILD.
Really God???
You alone are worthy of all my praise.
My husband and I have had three children, and gave one back to Jesus five years ago but we know she was never really ours to begin with. We are blessed beyond comprehension in that we don't give a flying LEAP about what worldly views say or materialistic things. Living truth is our path and it is GOOD. Blessings are not found in materialistic things. But was it always this way?
At one time we WERE focused on all things worldly. Was life better? NO!!!
Do we have enough for a child now? YES! Now our eyes are opened and I am thankful, humbled and say
Really God?
You are blessing us by placing us on a wild, unpredictable journey of adoption to a foreign country which is somewhat UNSTABLE and it will take a bucket full of faith and hours spent on our knees in prayer to get to her.
Really God? This is Good??? Yes...really. God is THAT GOOD. To place us on this wild journey. Really. He is Good.
All the Time. In Good. In Bad. In Heartache.In Joy. Lay down your life and give it all back to Him. It sounds crazy but...we believe it all makes perfect sense. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.


Five Cajuns and a Fundraiser said...

Don't try to make me feel better by posting a new picture of Sveta. I'm still mad...a little...okay, no, not at all! I can't sleep at all either but it's probably from giving birth every three years (now I sound like an elephant...wait that's 2 years, nevermind) so I constantly have a small child begging for sips of water, etc. all night. SVETA? Really? Who knew... God knew.

Me said...

Ha ha!!! I get you...I had three kiddos in four years. No sleep is my name in native american. My husband used to say we had a four year plan..I think he meant one child every four years..NOPE. God said different, three in four years!! hahahah. It was good though. Organized chaos. Hmmm. A future blog title. Live it. Love it!

Gaining Grace said...

My name is Deana and I would love to follow along with you. I've seen Sveta on RR and always thought she was so beautiful. Can't wait to see new pics of her and watch your journey. I myself am adopting a sweety from EE too. Should be on my way for my final trip within a month. God willing.
My best to you and some extra prayers too.