Tuesday, March 15, 2011

When Hurt Gets To Me

I wear my heart right where everyone can see.
That gets me in trouble. A Lot.
I can't stand it that when I am hurt I get so upset I become angry.
And I am hurt right now. Hurt that we have family members who won't even acknowledge we are having another child. Hurt that I have friends who are desperately trying to raise money to adopt their little girl and they aren't getting a lot of support in their town. Oh this hurt makes me morph into something I don't like. I say things that I DO mean but they aren't nice. Then I look back and go "you know...that wasn't exactly appropriating God's love there....hmmm" And I get all wrapped up in being hurt and angry again and end up sounding horrid. Not a nice place to rest in.


It’s not about ME.
It’s not about what God can do for me.
It is about listening for His voice.
Saying where you go I will go.
Where you tell me to step I will step. In faith.
Saying yes when the world says "WHY are you doing this!"
Saying we will go when the rest of the world doesn't want to look because the images are too hard.
It's about His love. How much He loves us and the tremendous Love He has placed in our heart which we get to give BACK so freely.
Outside of Him we don't even know what real love is.

So, no more holding expectations of how I wish people would act. Because there are always people who are going to let me down. My confidence is not in people...its in Him.

As I have said over and over...
It's not about me. It's not about Eli. It's about Him. If you haven't watched the Depraved Indifference video here you go...months ago the Lord used this video to speak to us.


Renee said...

If it weren't for Paisley, I would have never met you. So I'll take all that hurts and count it as a blessing because I had to have the hurt to get to my friend Grits.

Love finds a way,

Becky said...

Like Renee said, if it weren't for these kiddo's we'd have never met you and all the other families. But I know what you mean. We met nothing but opposition in our adoption, even when we started a few years ago, but especially when we committed to a special needs child. but now that she's here, everyone loves her and they see that it wasn't a sentence for us, that we were adding to our family and what a blessing she is.

I wear my heart where everyone can see too an it gets me hurt too, as evident by the last few months (you know what I mean), and I'm still hurt and angry over it because its important to me.

Keep your chin up, as soon that little dumpling will be in your arms and everyone who balked will fall in love with her cute face. :) And sweet Paisley will be home soon too. <3

michelle said...

Yeah...me too :). I love y'all crazy sisters of mine!

OCP said...

As you have hurt on behalf of those who have been hurt, injured, saddened, you are a blessing in your vulnerability and transparency as you have openly shared your thoughts and emotions. Similarly, the Father hurts for you. The Father is near the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in the Spirit. It is sweet to see a heart like the Father's that hurts for others. Those who hope in Him will never be disappointed! With love to and for you and your sweet family.