Thursday, April 26, 2012

Growing Wings

I love the recklessness of faith. First you leap, and then you grow wings. - William Sloane Coffin

A year ago, on April 26th, 2011, we had no idea what was coming the next day.

On April 27th tornadoes raced across our state, destroying just about anything in their path.

One statistic is 226 Tornadoes that ONE day across the southern states. It was a day we will never forget. 

And a day my faith took yet another step.

But a year ago on April 26th my mind was thinking about Emma and the upcoming anniversary of her death, not the storms which were making their way to our area. I was in a race to finish up adoption paperwork and we were struggling with adoption funding, family problems and the enemy was definitely on the prowl. 

One year later my heart is still heavy over many things. Once again, we are on racing toward the upcoming date of Emma passing away. It will be seven years on May 22. It is a bittersweet day. I miss her with a longing I can't really put into words. But there is also peace which transcends all earthly understanding.

A year ago my eyes had been opened and my heart broken in a way it had never been. 

 I was thankful for opened eyes. For it brought me to a place where I could say

 "whatever comes God, I am here. 

Break my heart. 

Send me. 

Show me."

I had no idea I was growing wings.

My heart continues to break over the children we said goodbye to in Ukraine. So many little faces, desperate for attention. Love. Over the months God has shown me children here in the US, and ALL OVER the world who need homes, food, clean water. 

Love. Compassion.

I pray God will continue to break my heart for what breaks his. This is not always easy. Who wants a broken heart?

But I would rather be completely broken than Lukewarm as I once was.

A year ago we were on the brink of climbing on a plane and journeying across the Atlantic.

We had no idea of what was to come.

It indeed felt like recklessness of faith.

We took a leap.

And God grew our wings.

So thankful we said YES.

We will GO.

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