A Sveta Update

I've been looking back at photos from before Sveta came home. 

She's grown so much in so many ways - physically, emotionally, developmentally. 

As we enter the 5th (wow!) Christmas season with our Sveta, I am so thankful that she is a part of our family.

 It is an honor to get to be her mommy. 

This photo is of Sveta and one of the precious volunteers who visited the orphanage weekly and played with the children in Sveta's groupa. Her name is Lilya. She adored Sveta. We still have contact with some of the volunteers we were blessed to meet that summer while adopting Sveta and they have been able to keep updated on her life, as well as pass on updates to her orphanage. 

Sweet, sweet baby girl. 

This is Sveta now, picture taken a few weeks ago. I have no idea why one arm/hand looks so large when propped up on the rail! She is one of the bravest children I know, she will try anything (even zip-lining!) and was so excited to try ice skating again. 

I haven't updated much about Sveta's progress or things we are doing. I suppose when you've been home four years everything is so routine you forget that readers may want to know how things are really going. 

I homeschool Sveta and she's now in the 2nd grade, she is making huge leaps in her reading and math skills. Her confidence in learning is growing. We have been using Right Start math and Abeka. She takes other classes at a local business dedicated to home schoolers. It's like a little school and she even participated in a science fair last month. There is a Christmas program where she will be singing and lots of opportunities for field trips. It's been a very good decision to home school and I love having my little one home every day and getting to watch her progress. She finished speech therapy last year and her language has greatly improved. She will soon be starting musical theater classes. She is so excited about this but also wants to take karate. Have I mentioned she loves watching wrestling?? She even has a little wrestling ring and wrestlers she likes to play with. Yes, her interests are diverse. Barbies, wrestling, singing, drama. 

I'm just glad she loves to explore different things and loves to learn. 

She's still a tiny little girl, finally growing into a size 8. But she has a huge heart and is filled with compassion for people and animals. 

We are blessed to have our little Sveta. 

Adoption changed our lives. 

Thanksgiving 2015

This Thanksgiving was a truly a year filled with mixed emotions.

Many people, both family and friends, came together to celebrate - not that life is perfect or that we don't face difficult times, but we all came together to say thank you for the time we each have here on earth. That life is short, and can change in a heartbeat. 

This year all the cousins on my husband's side were joined together in one picture, which is really an accomplishment because for many years each of us has taken a different path on Thanksgiving.

It was joy to watch our daughter play with her cousin, and sweet to watch our son and oldest daughter hold the newest member of the family. 

It was a time of reflection, of renewal.

The holidays are a difficult time, for many people, for many reasons.

It is no different for our family.

I just want to say that if you are struggling, don't give up on the one thing we each have - hope.

For a long time I felt like giving up on hope. That perhaps, hope didn't really exist. 

I was looking for hope in earthly things.

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Looking at each of these precious children (even the man child) I am reminded of the hope God gives to each of us. Hold tight to his promises that all the pain we experience here on earth will someday be wiped away. 

Yes, there is one child missing. How could I look at this picture and not see there is an empty space. 

I've learned that while we will always miss Emma, we can still experience great joy.

Happy Thanksgiving 2015 

Emma

Y'all!  I am ready to tell Emma's story, my story, His story. It's not filled with happiness and rainbows but is blessed with joy. How does that happen? 

It's ugly. Raw. Real.

Eventually, it's peace. 

I'm still in in the middle of finishing the memoir but it's almost done.
 I am so ready to just have this story told.
In 2008 the manuscript was nearly finished, but life happened and I allowed distractions to keep me from completing it.

In truth, it was difficult to put the story of Emma's life onto paper.
Each time I would begin to write everything would come pouring back and the emotion was simply too overwhelming at times.
It has taken years to reach a place where I can move forward with the book and I have begun working with an amazing Christian woman who is helping guide me through the whole process.
From 2008 when I first sent the manuscript to another editor to now, I've grown in my relationship with God and I know this growth needed to happen before the book could be completed.
I had to find where my identity truly rested.

Journey With Emma
A Memoir of Healing and Hope
Preface
"All this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost"

Emma.
The enigma child, the one born with fiery red hair, the child who left us when she was three.
The one who dances in heaven.
While here on earth she was always in my arms. One day I know I will see her again. My faith has grown as I have cried stinging tears. I've been shattered but found peace in the midst of pain.
This is my story, it is the journey I took with my daughter Emma, and the unraveling of myself...

                           

Just Busy

May passed in a whirlwind.  Always one of the busiest months of the year!

Sveta turned 8! This year she had a ice skating party and wanted a princes castle cake. She's growing up so fast. I want to freeze her at this age. Stay little! 

Paige graduated elementary school & is ready for middle. Again, I'd like to just stop time for a bit. 

Last day of school (5th & 1st grades) 

These girls. They fight. They hug. They play together, support one another, and giggle. 

The very best of friends.

I never can get a picture of Pey, he literally runs away from the camera. He made it through the first year of high school and continues to play hockey. 

Summer is officially here.  And it's going to be a busy one.

We mailed very important adoption papers last week. 

After a year of working toward this, it was surreal to finally send the paperwork on its way.

Things are moving very well on the adoption front. 

To end, I'm not sure if I've ever shared that I am originally from Texas - I'd like to ask for everyone to just keep Texas in your thoughts and prayers. Many of the places on the news are ones near where I am from. My family is okay but there are evacuations going on very close to them. 

Stay safe everyone and hopefully I can find time over the summer to post adoption updates. 

Emma's Homecoming

Written in 2007, shortly after we left Emma's last home here on earth...May 22 is quickly approaching. Nearly 10 years ago we said goodbye to our Emma.

 The Lord has continued to be our hope, our peace as we journey on. 

Memories flashed through my mind as I took the last walk through our home before we moved. Lingering at the foot of the stairs my memory held peals of laughter coming from the children’s bedrooms. Looking out the kitchen window was the vivid image of Peyton and Paige caught up in some make believe drama on their swing set. Pausing in the living room the most bittersweet memories flashed. My eyes focused on the spot where Paige took her first steps, then over to the place where Peyton grinned at the camera on his first day of kindergarten. Finally my eyes settled in the corner where my chair had once sat. It was there my mind held the image of my daughter Emma taking her last breath. Her three year old body giving way to the devastating effects of Cockayne syndrome, passing away peacefully in my arms.

After Emma died, it did not seem possible our family could ever call another house home without memories of Emma beating within the walls. But as we have settled into our new house our family is finding Emma is with us always and her memory is not found within a house but instead is in each of us. She is found in the shine which lights up Peyton’s face as he tells funny stories about her. In my husband’s smile when he looks at pictures of her. She is found in the pride in Paige’s eyes when she says “my big sister”. Emma is with us as we meet other children who have Cockayne syndrome and take them into our arms without hesitation. Her lingering laughter fills our new home in our memories. Peyton and Paige find comfort as they climb into the worn chair where I sat holding Emma as she was dying. We celebrate her life as we make memories in a new home.

We keep her memory alive and woven securely into our family’s fabric. Filled with God’s peace and comfort I am overcome with a revelation found in the duality of meaning in a person’s death date. For those left behind, the death date signifies and ending to life on earth. For Emma that sunny day in May was a glorious day. It was her homecoming, the day she returned to her savior – in a perfect body, free from pain. On that day the Lord took her into His loving arms and said “Welcome home Emma, my good and faithful servant.” Welcome home. 

What a homecoming!

Even in the darkest of days, in the pit of despair, walking in the wilderness.

He is with us.

A hope that prevails and is larger than anything we can fathom with our human mind.