Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Through the Shadows

The newspaper (what's that???) followed our family for six months in 2004/2005. Emma's eyes are so dark in these pictures but they were actually blue. I'm not sure why they are so dark. She was going blind by this stage of the syndrome, such a dreadful thing to witness in such a tiny little person. 

Its that time of year again. 

Winter winds down and God shows his glory through new life - spring flowers, baby birds...all this the backdrop to one of the most difficult times in our lives. In 2005 we careened through April and made our way into May, vaguely aware of what was coming as our 3 year old Emma lingered between heaven and earth. 

We were a young family who had three children under the age of 5. 

Life with one child who was terminally ill was sharply juxtaposed against life with two rambunctious, messy little ones, the "P's". 

While I think of Emma girl every single day, this time of year all the memories flood back in a surge, and at crazy times. Sitting in the car line. Cooking dinner. Walking through target and seeing the clothes section she never grew out of. 

Size 6 months. I carried her 99% of the time,  would have carried her in my arms for the rest of my life. Tiny little girl, so full of life, and laughter.

Though she is no longer in my arms, I carry the love and lessons she brought to our lives with me.

 I am a better person and better servant of the Lord because of her. 

She left her imprint on our souls and it is well...well with my soul. I wouldn't change a single thing. Even the ending - because truly that ending is simply another beginning. 

And it is within that beginning where my hope lies. 

It is well. Hope never dies. Every morning is a new beginning. 

"You can only come to the morning through the shadows." JRR Tolkien

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